Sunday, January 10, 2010

soda COOKIES and old people flying everywhere.

This is a view from where I sat. Row four, all the way to the right. next to me was Natalie, then Chad, and Kassidy was sitting next to a woman we did not know. Packed in like sardenes we were.

A supposedly short excursion.

This was the day before we headed home. Chad and I had talked to the concierge the previous day about a little zip lining fun. She showed us this one that was only 3 hours and 5 zip lines (as opposed to the usual 7 hour zip lining tours) and we though it would be just perfect for us because we had a helicopter ride scheduled for later that day. We booked it.

I think we paid around $400 for this "fun time"

So we're going along to parts unknown. We come to this big leafy memorial thing for Mr Rice. A cattle rancher. This is where all the "fun" takes place.

First thing they get us all geared up. Sometimes its good to be the one always behind the camera :-) know what I mean?

everybody's looking pretty happy. wouldn't you agree?

indeed that IS an outhouse you see behind them...

Ok a couple things here I'd like to mention. First of all i don't know if you know but Kauai is like one of the wettest places on Earth. They hand us our straps and ropes and what not... they're wetish.

Ok ew gross. I'm a little finicky about stinky old ropes. I had my suspicions and i made the terrible mistake of smelling the rope.

NO NO NO I should NOT have done that. I've smelled stinky ropes in my time (dad being an avid boater and all) but this rope took the cake. Oh my gosh I had to touch that thing! The straps were no better I am sure, though I didn't make the same mistake twice!

At least we ALL smelled like dank towels that had wiped up barf which were wrapped around a dead animal rotting in a plastic bag (or something that that effect)

Second, as we were suiting up into these putrid contraptions I turned to chad and said... there's no way this is only taking 3 hours!

it took forever to get all that gear on everyone. And let me also mention that we were by far the youngest people on this excursion.

I wish I could remember this guys name. He was loud and unruly. I actually liked him, he was fun. between zip he would sing and play his ukulele. He was one of our guides.

please note the ukulele between his legs :)

Kassidy and Natalie we're pretty weary of this at first but once they went they loved it!

So this first zip line we went on twice. Go down once, hike back up, go again. You see? That equals 2 right?

We got to zip line # 2. This one took FOREVER! we had to go backwards and descend some stairs, the zip line was actually extremely short, but some of the oldies were nervous and indeed moving quite slow.

It started to rain on us. I was cold.

I asked the girl tour guide what time it was.

Almost 11. she says

What? They said we would be back by 11! so I ask, how much longer will this take? We have people coming to pick us up at 11, the time we were supposed to arrive back!

She then she calls over to the place we left from and tells them that if anyone comes in looking for us to let them know we are running about an hours late.

Still moving unbearably slow. but finally everyone gets down and we move on to zip #3. it's a double liner so we can go 2 at a time. sweet! this shouldn't take near as long!

but somehow it does. this is Kassidy and Natalie waiting for their second turn. You heard me right we went on this one twice as well. so 2 + 1 + 2 = five right?

Wait thats our 5 zip lines? more like 3 if you ask me.

the first one twice the second one once (which is obviously only there as a way to transport humans to the double line) and the third (if you can even call it the third) one twice too equals our 5 zip line adventure?


Now I'm not saying the zip lines weren't fun. The actual zipping was fun, it's just that it was way more waiting that zipping and knowing we were so late was making me feel annoyed because you wanna know what time we actually got back??

supposed to be back at 11 AM... actually arrived back at 1 PM!

Oh yes there is one more thing I wanted to mention... after the last zip line they handed out sodas and cookies, then we all piled back in the van like sardines once again.

nothing could prepare us for what happened next!

They guy with the ukulele says hold on... hits the gas. pedal to the metal! The van bounced like nothing you've ever seen before. Soda, cookies and old people flying everywhere! Giant pot holes, one after another. Screams of horror. Now us, we're young and act quick to brace ourselves but I'm not kidding you there were OLD PEOPLE on that van!! The lady next to Kassidy hit her head and was none too happy about it.

Now he says he has to step on the gas like that or he would never get through those gigantic pot holes...

it's not that I don't believe him, it's just that I have no clue how they haven't been sued for causing serious injury!!

That was scary.

but the best part was when we arrived back they had the nerve to ask for tips.

HAHA.. wait wha? you're serious?

um thats a no :) check ya later!

NOTE: I have heard there are companies that do an awesome job with the zip lines, please don't let this scare you away from zip lining it up in Kauai or anywhere else for that matter. The name of the company we used was "Outfitters Kauai" avoid them and you will be probably ok!

oh yeah and by the way.... our helicopter ride was cancelled due to rain! That was a huge bummer!

all part of the adventure... thats what I always tell myself when things do go as planned! Keeps the spirits up, you should try it. You can even do it on like a trip to the mall when the kids have had way too much sugar.